The Door Holder

There is a serious gratitude shortage. Gratitude is a scarce commodity, an endangered species, a disappearing ingredient of daily living. Saving gratitude deserves a major conservation effort.

The gratitude shortage is most evident in small things. I was taught that one should hold doors open for others. It is a deeply ingrained habit. It is a small gesture, but I am constantly surprised at how few people do so.More surprising, is how few say "thank you" when benefiting from my door-holding habit. I keep track. Currently, only 46.3 % of people for whom I have held a door have expressed thanks for my effort. Even more surprising, is the growing trend for one person in a group to say, "thank you," while the remaining members of the group waltz by in silence. They apparently are living with a mistaken belief that one "thank you" is sufficient for a singular door holding experience. This alarming trend is evident regardless of the number of people passing by. It is as though the masses see my door holding as an entitlement. I have it on good authority that some door-holders, a.k.a. bellman, make excellent incomes. Up to six figures, I'm told. Now, wouldn't you think that a position worthy of cash gratuities by those in uniform would be worthy of a simple "thank you" to one in his or her civvies? I certainly think so.

My door holding habit is a true inconvenience. When with a group of people, I'm the one holding the door. It is very awkward to hold a door in a large crowd, like at a movie theater. How do you know when to stopholding the door? When I finally stop, people inevitably look at me as if to say, "How come you stopped with me?" I think it hurts their feelings. I suspect that the next person, the one I don't hold the door for, is the one who would say "thank you."

The occasional "thank you" keeps me at my post. No "thank you" and I'm quick to let go. Sometimes, I say "you're welcome," to the silent mannerly challenged majority. They usually pretend that they don't hear me, but I know they do.I know that my "you're welcome" convicts them of their rudeness. I hope it changes their way the next time someone holds a door for them.

A times, we expect too much of the world, others, and even ourselves. When Iwas first introduced to the teachings of Dale Carnegie, I had difficulty accepting his advice, "expect ingratitude." I thought that "expect the best" would put me on more solid ground. Overtime, I have learned that Dale was right. "Expect ingratitude" is sound advice. However, expecting ingratitude doesn't mean I must welcome it when it arrives. It simply means that I shouldn't be surprised or disappointed.

So I continue my crusade to save gratitude. After all, how hard can it be to get the world to simply say, "Thanks" once in a while?