Hours of Discontent

"It gets better by the glass" -- Big Russ



I have been thinking about contentment lately. Not because I lack it, butclearly there are moments, even days, that it escapes me. I have a friend who I perceive to be extremely and consistently content. I have told him so. He has never denied it. I confess to envy when I observe him. Often he whistles. Always, he smiles. Yet, I know that the truth is known only to him.



A friend of my father once commented on how positive and enthusiastic my father always was. He told me, 'Your dad is the most positive person I know." I remember thinking he had me confused with someone else. My father was hardly a poster boy for positive. I saw my father in moments of contentment, uncontrolled laughter and real joy. I saw him in his hours of discontent; the unsettled times when concerns, commitments, and conditions merged in anxious contemplation; when the unknown and the restless overcame, when ghosts haunted and stirred. I would prefer to remember only the positive moments, but that is not the case. I remember all of his humanity.



NBC's Tim Russert has a new book, Wisdom of Our Fathers. It was spawned by a book he wrote about his father, Big Russ and Me. The books chronicle lessons given to kids by fathers. The striking thing about both books is that the wisdom is not based on words spoken, but attitudes observed. My guess is that is true for most everyone. A father's wisdom comes more from his breath than from his words. It is life observed not words heard that passes wisdom from generation to generation. We learn more from the heart than from the ear. I learned much from my father's minutes of content and his hours of discontent. Both have taught and served me well.



It is father's day this Sunday. Still, I listen.