Whose Fault is it Anyway?

It is odd that when we look at others we see things that we don’t see when we look at ourselves. You don’t have to listen to a conversation too long before someone says something critical about another person. We think of another person’s plight as a result of their own doing, while we consider our own to be the result of circumstances beyond our control. The psychological term for this phenomenon is the fundamental attribution error, a term coined by psychologist Lee Ross. Basically, it points out that when good and bad things happen to ourselves and others we tend to attribute the cause in the opposite way:

We see our own success as the result of our own ability and effort – internal attributionWe consider our failures to be the result of circumstance and misfortune – external attribution.
On the other hand:
We think of other people’s success as the result of circumstance and good fortune – external attribution

We think of other peoples failures to be the result of their own inabilities or lack of effort – internal attribution

There is much research to demonstrate that we have greater clarity of the world around us than the world inside us. We understand other people more clearly than we see ourselves. It takes a significant amount of energy to view our own circumstances and accept responsibility for them. It also takes a degree of tolerant energy to cut some slack for those we are quick to judge.
In the end, the time spent finding fault is best redeployed in rendering forgiveness, to both ourselves and others.

This too is fundamental

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