Sorriest, Sorry, Sort of Sorry

Some years ago, the book and subsequent movie Love Story made popular the phrase, “love is never having to say you’re sorry.” People debated the reality of the statement, while understanding its sentiment, but challenging its truth. Since I mess up a lot, I apologize a lot. I seem to mess up the most with those I love the most. So, it is to them that I apologize the most.

Sometimes I think that it’s too easy to apologize. It is as if apologizing makes messing up OK. Maybe there ought to be different degrees of apologizing. First degree is “real sorry,” second degree just “sorry” and third degree “sort of sorry,” (SOS for short). That way, people would know how badly you feel. Sometimes I say I’m sorry when I really feel badly. Other times I just say it because I know the other person is mad and I just want to make them feel better and get the conflict out of the way.

The other day, I read an apology that a guy made to a group of people. He had made a mistake – a legitimate – oh shucks -- mistake. It was one of those errors that anybody could make, but was pretty serious. You could tell that he was first degree real sorry. He said he was agonizing over what happened. There was no way to fix it. It was just a bad deal. Someone wrote him back with the best acceptance of an apology I have ever read or heard. They wrote, “I know your heart. No apology necessary.” Wow, what a tribute. I know your heart. No apology necessary.
May be that is what “love is never having to say your sorry,” is all about.

Maybe it isn’t that you never mess up, but instead, you never do anything intentionally to hurt someone. You let other people know your heart. So, when you do mess up, they know you didn’t do it on purpose. So no apology is necessary and forgiveness comes easy.